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You can't. Being a lesbian is about how she feels about women, or one particular woman, and about herself.

Actually there are many seperate questions behind this one question:

  • does she love you?
  • is she attracted to you?
  • does she want to be in a marriage with you?
  • does she love someone else? (man or woman)
  • is she attracted to someone else? (man or woman)
  • is she having sex with someone else? (man or woman)
  • does she see herself as lesbian?

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